Because there are things you just can't fake even how hard you try

I'm not OK

Its hard to say "I'm Ok" whenever people ask me how am I doing. Its hard to say the phrase without tears jerking off your eyes. My life currently runs in an endless routine and everyday I feel hopeless and left out. They tell me things will fall in to their right places and that GOD HAS BIG PLANS IN STORE FOR ME. Why can't I believe that? Why can't I make myself believe that everything will be fine? Today, reality slapped  me in the face so hard and its hard to shake the pain off my mind.